I’m so tired.”
“Tired of what?”
“Of all these people judging me.”
“Who judged you?”
“Like that woman, every time I sit with her, she tells me to wear hijab.”
“Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!”
“Yeah! I listen to music without hijab… haha!”
“Maybe she was just giving you advice.”
“I don’t need her advice. I know my religion. Can’t she mind her own business?”
“Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice.”
“Keeping out of my business, that would be nice…”
“But it’s her duty to encourage you do to good.”
“Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what do you mean ‘good’?”
“Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do.”
“Says who?”
“It’s in the Quran, isn’t it?”
“Yes. She did quote me something.”
“She said Surah Nur, and other places of the Quran.”
“Yes, but it’s not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important.”
“True. But big things start with small things.”
“That’s a good point, but what you wear is not important. What’s important is to have a good healthy heart.”
“What you wear is not important?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?”
“What do you mean?”
“You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-carb dieting.”
“So?”
“So, your appearance IS important.”
“No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion.”
“If it’s not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Noble Quran?”
“You know I can’t follow all that’s in Quran.”
“You mean God tells you something to do, you disobey and then it’s OK?”
“Yes. God is forgiving.”
“God is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes.”
“Says who?”
“Says the same book that tells you to cover.”
“But I don’t like hijab, it limits my freedom.”
“But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?! What’s your definition of freedom anyway?”
“Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do.”
“No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do.”
“Look! I’ve seen so many people who don’t wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people.”
“So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point.”
“I don’t want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I’m OK the way I am without hijab.”
“Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying God.”
“You don’t get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!”
“So all these people with hijab never get married?!”
“Okay! What if I get married and my husband doesn’t like it? And wants me to remove it?”
“What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!”
“That’s irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime.”
“Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?”
“But then who would hire me?”
“A company that respects people for who they are.”
“Not after 9-11″
Yes. After 9-11. Don’t you know about Hanan who just got into med school? And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab… ummm…”
“Yasmin?”
“Yes. Yasmin. She just finished her MBA and is now interning for GE.”
“Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?”
“Why do you reduce womanhood to high heals and lipstick colors?”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying God in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood. But your short sleeves, tight pants…”
“That’s called ‘fashion’, you live in a cave or something? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women.”
“Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab.”
“Yes. That’s what it is.”
“What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?”
“Well, that’s different.”
“What difference? The woman who asked you to wear hijab… she was a woman, right?”
“Right, but…”
“But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations, set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!”
“Wait, let me finish, I was saying…”
“Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?”
“Yes.”
“Specifically how?”
“By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!”
“Doesn’t TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be ‘attractive’?”
“Of course, it’s fashion.”
“Isn’t that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?”
[Silence]
“Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products.”
“I don’t get it. What does hijab have to do with products.”
“It has everything to do with that. Don’t you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men… and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks.”
“Like I don’t have to buy hijab? Isn’t hijab a product?”
“Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism.”
“Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society… Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!”
“Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
[Silence]
“Be quiet! I don’t want to hear any more about hijab niqab schinab!”
[Silence]
She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time.
Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society – but rejected by the Faith:
“Yes!” – to curls on the hair – “No!” – to hijab!
Subhana’Allah.
